Collegial Connections

By Leslie Quander Wooldridge, Writer

If you’re like the average American, you’ll work about 90,000 hours during your lifespan. And you’re not at the office alone: You often see coworkers more than your own family.

Individual performance is important, but research shows that your relationships with your coworkers are a critical component of your job success and satisfaction. So how can these relationships work for you? We talked to Strayer University alumni to find out.

Be considerate. Everyone has workplace priorities, and respect should rank high on the list. “Mutual respect and consideration should always govern your interaction with peers, supervisors and subordinates at all levels,” says Don Martin (BBA ’06), a construction superintendent in Doha, Qatar. The first step? Honor your coworkers’ time, says Brenda Reed (AABA ’03, BSBA ’05 and MED ’08), who is a facility operations senior analyst with Lockheed Martin. If you need to interrupt colleagues while they’re working, ask if they’d mind taking a break. If you need to miss a scheduled meeting, give advance notice.

Eliminate gossip. You should actively listen to your coworkers in most situations, but be sure to excuse yourself when conversations turn to gossip. It may seem tempting to talk about someone’s bad performance at a meeting or a coworker’s too-short skirt, but you’ll make yourself look bad if you gossip. “Don’t talk about coworkers, because it will get back to them,” advises Laurie Bernstein (MBA ’09), a financial planning analyst for SAIC and the winner of Strayer University’s 2009 Outstanding Graduate Student Award. “If you really want to help, go directly to the person. If you tell someone else about it, it becomes gossip.” A person who gossips never looks good—even if he’s correct about the breaking news he’s broadcasting.

Practice friendliness. Of course you need to work hard, but you should also be approachable. To start, don’t bring your home drama into the workplace, says Reed. “When you’re at work, you’re at work,” she says. If you have a bad morning, take a few minutes alone to regroup. Don’t take out your personal issues on coworkers. Similarly, keep an open mind with colleagues. “Do not judge individuals based on preconceived ideas,” says Martin. “Instead, try to understand their situation and look for ways to help each other.”

Communicate clearly. You have to interact with others to meet deadlines, which is why good communication is so important. “All parties must understand their roles before executing the work,” notes Martin, who supervises personnel from about 40 countries who speak a variety of languages. Even if language barriers exist at the workplace, you should strive to clearly present your point of view. “It is absolutely critical to the success of the project to maintain open lines of communication,” Martin says.

Stay in touch. Peers can help you move ahead and can provide valuable professional advice. Bernstein qualified for a promotion after coworkers informed her about new opportunities. Reed benefited from colleagues who helped her learn the ropes. “Sometimes they pitched in and helped me out,” Reed says, noting that now, “I feel like my position is important. I feel like part of the company.” If you’re glued to your chair eight hours a day, make a conscious effort to reach out to others. “I think it’s a good idea to do lunches—first, to help the relationship and second, for your own personal development,” says Bernstein. “You’ve got to focus on your core job first, but never decline an offer of camaraderie.”

Look for solutions. We’ve all had workplace experiences that weren’t ideal. But if you currently have a dishonest colleague, or one who’s a bit of a slacker, you should try to respectfully resolve the situation. “If you don’t address a problem, it will get worse,” says Bernstein. “You need to not only address it head-on, you should have a solution ready,” she adds. When you have constructive talks with coworkers—and you should do this first, before going to a supervisor—let them be part of the solution. And if you’re at fault, be willing to take responsibility and apologize.

Get introspective. If you continue to have trouble with colleagues after you’ve tried to make nice, think about how you can personally adjust. “If all else fails, you just have to change the way you view the problem,” says Bernstein. “You have to manage it.” Continue to perform your job to the best of your abilities. “A professional demeanor must be maintained at all times no matter how difficult the task at hand becomes,” says Martin. Or, as Bernstein suggests of unfriendly coworkers, “Kill them with kindness.”